The Test

Tydus entered the stone hall with a heavy sigh. His feet goose-stepped and echoed off the hard walls sounding like a leak in the roof after a hard rain. He collapsed into a heap onto one of the wooden benches. The chainmail he wore seemed heavier, and the sword at his side stuck out at odd angle and its tip hit the floor when he slumped. The golden hilt jabbed into his ribs hard. Tydus winced and leaned his head against the stone wall a little too hard.

“What seems to be the matter, dear boy?”

Madam Sarai’s voice was sweet to the ears. Tydus had not even heard her steps in the hall. He stood with a jolt at attention. The Madam giggled.

“You don’t need to be so formal with me, Tydus.” She brushed a hand against his arm. “Tell me what has you looking so depressed.”

“Madam…” Tydus stammered, “I failed a Test of Courage today.” He looked to the ground when he said this. He noticed that Madam Sarai was not wearing any shoes. She was returning from her rituals.

“Oh, poor dear,” she said with a motherly tone, “Sit and tell me all about it.”

Tydus returned to the bench and the Madam sat next to him, taking his hand in hers. She was forty years his senior but Tydus still felt nervous when she acted so familiar. His voice cracked as he spoke.

“It was in town. I was with the princess, serving as one of her guard as she was out purchasing produce and food for the evening meal. It was at one of the stalls that I saw a man and a woman quarreling. They were clearly upset and they’re voices kept getting louder and louder. I don’t remember what they were yelling about but the man said something and the woman got all red in the face and began to walk away. She had long blond hair all in a braid and it slapped the man’s face with a snap as she turned away from him. She got a few long steps away, but the man rushed forward and grabbed her hair, almost pulling her to the ground. She let out a yell and he grabbed her arm as she tried to hit him. I felt so angry watching him hold her, and everyone could see she was in pain. But I just stood there and watched. I didn’t do anything to stop him. The princess returned and I took one last look at the fighting couple. His hand was gripping her wrist so hard that she was beginning to sink to the ground. But I just followed the princess away from the shop and didn’t look back. It was then that a voice shouted my name, ‘Tydus!’ I turned and it was Master Gaemon. I couldn’t tell at first because he was in disguise, but the quarreling man was Master Gaemon, there was no doubt. ‘You failed, boy.’ Was all he said, and he and the woman disappeared into the crowd.”

“Oh, you poor lad…” Madam Sarai patted his hand, “I wouldn’t fret over it. Most knights fail their first Test of Courage, especially one so hard to recognize.”

“Its a knight’s duty to protect those who cannot protect themselves, Madam.” Came Master Gaemon’s voice from the end of the hall. Tydus shot up from the bench again, only this time he stood too quickly and knocked Madam Sarai to the floor next to him. Torn between the decision to be at attention or to help the old woman off the ground, Tydus did neither, only looked back and forth between Madam Sarai and Master Gaemon.

“For God’s sake, can you do nothing right, boy?” Master Gaemon moved forward and helped the Madam from the floor.

“Don’t be so hard on him, Master Gaemon. It sounds as though he’s been through enough today.” The Madam had one hand on her back and one hand on Gaemon’s arm as she struggled to rise.

“I’ve said it from the beginning, Madam. I don’t need any boys for the Order of the Shield. I need men.”

“Give him a bit of time, and he’ll be a man, Master. He clearly as the heart.”

“Maybe so, but it takes more than a heart to make a man.” He gave a solemn look to Tydus, “I’ve seen too many men torn asunder to know that much. There’s stomach and strength that’s needed as well.”

“He’ll do better next time, I can assure you.” She smiled and patted his cheek as she walked by.

“Not with all your coddling, he won’t. Why do you think its taking these boys so long to become men, eh? You’ve spoiled them as if they were your own children.”

“All of the Order are my children, Master, even you.” She said with a wag of her finger. Her soft feet patted against the cold stone and then she was gone. Master Gaemon shrugged and turned to Tydus.

“Come on, lad. You’ve got work to do.”

“What would you have of me, Master?” asked Tydus, still shivering at attention.

“That woman you failed to help today has some chores for you. Since you failed the test, it is now your duty to seek her out and work for her for a week. Do anything she says, not matter how degrading, do you understand? Its as much a punishment as it is a lesson. And I warn you, she can be as mean as a bitch in heat. I expect she’ll work you to the bone.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Good. Now go. I expect better next time.”

Tydus ran out the hall, his mail and sword jingling with each step.

“God help us all if its boys like him that stand between us and the Mangs.”

Master Gaemon shook his head and walked to the courtyard. The moon was full that evening and he could hear the crickets in the forest to the north. It was a calm and cool evening, the perfect invitation for some meditation. Gaemon realized it had been days since he had experienced gnomite. It wasn't any wonder he felt out of balance during the Test today. He sat down with folded legs and open hands in the small patch of grass and bathed himself in the moonlight and sounds of the evening. He closed his eyes and slowly began to breath through his nose, focusing on the the sensations around him and within him, the beginning stages of gnomite. Faintly, the sounds began to be more distant and the sensations on his skin and hair seemed more intense. He began to feel the air as it entered his lungs, the blood as it passed from his heart through his veins, his muscles as each fiber contracted and relaxed. He cleared his mind of all thought and entered gnomite, the place of All-Being. It was there that he first discovered his own Courage and the source of his Strength. He breathed deep and allowed himself to sink into the All-Being, becoming almost nothing in the vastness of existence. Gaemon slipped out of time and place and felt at one with the world around him. Not just the courtyard and castle, but the whole kingdom. He could feel his spirit stretch across the land like the great sky overhead. He could hear the distant voices of men speaking in whispers in places unseen. He could feel the heat of Hatred coming from some far-off place but it was too far to see or grasp. Suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, a scream came from the tower above the courtyard. Gaemon broke his gnomite with a gasp. It took a moment for him to gather all his senses but then he was filled with a sense of dread. The scream came from the royal tower, from what sounded like the princess’s bedchamber. In a single bound Master Gaemon was off, bolting through corridors and passages, praying his brief negligence wouldn't be the end of the realm.