The Case of the Girl and the Gods, pt. 2: On Murder

*static* This is a recording by Dr. Eldrich Mendelson, day two with... I'm sorry. I should apologize to you initially. I simply wasn't prepared for the sounds you made, and so I misunderstood your meaning and became scared. While a scream may be what you understood me to suggest when asking your name, a scream is impractical and... generally, socially unacceptable as a name. Would you mind if I suggest one for you?

(silence)

I mean, I would like to suggest a name for you, something I may be able to call you during our time together. If you don't like it you can take some time to think of something.

... No, that's alright. It's just that no one has ever asked me something like that before. You can pick one.

How do you like the name Tiana?

(a small laugh) ... yes. I like it.

Good! I'm glad, Tiana. And you have a very pretty smile. I hope I get the chance to see it more often. I would like to talk to you about some of the things that have happened to you. First, do you know where you are?

... No.

You are in the Universal Asylum, close to the Central Planets. You are very far from where we found you first, where your home could be. Do you know why you are here?

I'm here because I am here.

(laughs) Yes, but that wasn't exactly my question. I should ask, do you know how you came to be here in the Asylum?

... I'm here because I... killed people.

(puase) Yes. We found you on a planet that was full of death. I am told you were alone and surrounded by bodies when they found you. Were you the one who did that?

... yes.

I see. Why did you do that, Tiana?

What do you mean?

I mean to ask what reason did you have to kill a planet of people.

I don't understand. They died, as all creatures must.

I believe that killing another person is wrong, Tiana. Death is a very scary thing to people, and while it is inevitable, most people like to experience life as much as they can. Killing people hurts others because it takes their life away sooner than if they were to die naturally. Do you understand this?

Yes and... no... I know I hurt people... but that's what I was born to do... that's what the gods tell me to do.

The gods? Can you tell me more about the gods that talk to you?

They talk to me when I sleep. They talk to me more when I'm awake sometimes. They keep me awake and they keep my alive. Like you said, I like to live, too. They say that I have to do things for them because no one else will, because no one else believes in them anymore. That's why I like the name you gave me.

Tiana. That is one of the old names of a goddess as I understand.

Yes. She's one that talks to me.

What sort of things do these gods say to you?

They say that I'm special. They use some words that I don't know... words like prophet, and wrath, and con... con-version.

Conversion, yes. That word is used when a person changes from one belief to another. Do these gods make you do things?

They don't MAKE me do anything! I love them... they're all I've ever known. I would do anything they ask.

I'm sorry. I have never heard the gods speak so it is difficult for me to understand your experience. You said earlier that the gods did things to you... they kept you awake, they kept you alive. What did you mean by that?

They gave me things. Like breath, and heat, and love... in a way. And they gave me the ability to... do the things that I did. They paid attention to me. One day, they asked me to rise out of bed, and to give death to everyone that I saw.

Give death? It almost sounds like they asked you to give a gift.

No... not a gift. But maybe a lesson. I think death is misunderstood. Like me, it just wants attention. Like the gods just want attention. Everyone I know thinks that death is bad and painful and awful. I think the gods wanted me to show them the good side of death...

The good side of death?

Yes. Death isn't really good or bad. It just is. Just like I am here, and you are there. Just like when you're thirsty, then thirst is there, craving your attention. Or when you're in pain, you'll always be in pain until you hear what the pain has to say. Then, sometimes, these things help you.

... Hmm. That all sounds very mature, Tiana. I do not disagree. Sometimes these hard experiences, like pain or sadness have something to teach us. But these things are good only because we can learn from them and continue living based on the lessons they have taught us. There is no lesson death can give that we can live through.

The lesson was not for them. The lesson is for those who heard the screams, who saw the blood, and how now feel the fear.

(silence) ...I would hope that the gods that you mention value each human life more than that.

(laughs) I don't think they do. They just want attention, like everyone else.

I think that's enough for today, Tiana. Thank you for being so honest and understanding. Shall I come back tomorrow?

If you like.

(end recording)

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*static* Subject Tiana exhibited some interesting levels of self-awareness and capability, though disturbingly coupled with theological delusions. Her actions appeared to have been motivated by some divine mandate to teach the rest of humanity a lesson. Tiana showed some individualized desires and sign of autonomy and perhaps even guilt for her actions, and I'm hopeful that progress can be made to combat these delusions and 'gods.' It seems that she responds best to honesty and forwardness, though I have yet to witness the scope of this power that the Commander spoke of earlier. I must admit, part of me believes her to be simply a little girl and I have a difficult time envisioning her to be the 'magnificent weapon' the Commander wants her to be...